Because my opinions are better than yours

Posts tagged women


The nerve of some women:

During the fifth inning of tonight’s whooping of the Nationals, Jayson Werth got underneath a 2-0 pitch from Garrett Mock and sent it straight up in the air headed towards the 300 level just above the CSN broadcast booth. A gentleman who was sitting up in those seats quickly realized he had a shot at the ball, so he stood up, leaned over the railing, and to the delight of the crowd, made an impressive catch. And being the good father that he is, he then handed the ball over to his daughter, who immediately turned around and tossed the ball back over the rail and into the Diamond Club behind home plate.

…Thus creating what is easily the funniest fan-unintentionally-throws-baseball-back-onto-field instance in sports history.

[via The Fightins and just about everywhere else in the next 48 hours]

This shit is funny as hell, I think.  The geniuses behind the site komplexify have derived a complex mathematical equation which clearly prove the evil underpinnings of the female gender.  Equisitely titled “On the proof of the supposed evilness of girls,” try to do your best to follow along, but don’t be ashamed if you get lost: this is some complex stuff here.  Read on to witness the proof that has, in all likelihood, turned the world of gender-studies on its head for the rest of eternity: 


II. Statement and classical proof of result


Theorem. Girls are evil


Proof.   It is axiomic in all cultures that girls require both time and money, and any man with either a deficiency in available “quality time” or “disposable income” knows that this a joint-proportion, whence:

girls = time * money

Similarly, it is has been proved that “time is money” [1], whence

time = money

Substitution yields

girls = (money)2

We also know that “money is the root of all evil” [2], whence

money = √evil

Substituting again yields

girls = (√evil)2

Squaring on the right-hand side of the equation yields…

girls = evil

establishing the result. Q.E.D.

I miss proofs.  I also miss the 20 minutes I just spent writing this post.

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