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I Need Another Word for Vagina…
Firerod.com: Rich Rodriguez Gets His Own Website And Not in the Cool, Fun, Blog Way
Wow, that was quick Michigan fans: FireRRod.com (for more info, see: Rich Rodriguez Gets His Own Website And Not in the Cool, Fun, Blog Way)
Watch Discovery of Aliens Live!
This internet thing is really something…
Not only is NASA,the National Aeronautics and Space Administration, going to attempt to put another lander on Mars, but this time their doing it live on the Internet for all to see.
According to Michael Learmonth of Silicon Valley Insider, starting at 6 PM EST today [this was posted on May 25th], people can head to NASA’s website, or Second Life, to watch as NASA attempts to put the Phoenix Mars Lander down on solid ground. I only say “attempts” as missions to Mars have had a checkered past over the years, but the twin rovers of Spirit and Opportunity have certainly proven it can be done. If successful, the first message from Phoenix will be received at 8 PM EST to let mission control know that the lander has in fact touched down and the status of its components.
Rad. Aliens.
UPDATE [5/26]: The Phoenix successfully landed on Mars, but, sadly, it seems as though no aliens have been discovered……yet. Let me know if you are able to spot any aliens in these pictures taken from the mission thus far. You can follow the rest of its mission at this site or on Twitter.
I Should Have Thought of This First
Jason Polan, author of “The Every Piece of Art In the Museum of Modern Art Book,” is trying to draw every single person in New York. You can follow his progress or sign up to be drawn at his website (he did Conan the other day).
Stuff Nobody Likes
By now almost everyone has heard of Stuff White People Like, and there’s a good chance that they heard about it from Blogbdon all the way back in February. While I continue to check my inbox for my thank-you e-mail from them, considering my publicity was at least a direct factor for their recently landing a $300,000 book deal, you can check out the new hot website: the not-quite-as-funny Stuff Nobody Likes.
Pee and Poo
This post was intended to celebrate this incredible country and the incredible holiday created on today’s date: Steak and BJ Day. But, in the process of celebrating writing about today’s joyous holiday (created as a response to the unfairly female-dominated Valentine’s Day and celebrated exactly one month later: on March 14th), I became aware of the unfortunate news that the Steak and BJ website is down, diminishing much, if not all, of the credibility of my piece. In fact, I can no longer confidently even say that it exists. So, today, rather than speaking of this new, grand American tradition and its parallel to our country’s indelible spirit of brotherhood, I decided to dedicate today to something else: excrement.
And if you’re still wondering about Steak and BJ day, google it.
“#1”
- Learn how to turn your pee blue
- Contribute to the environment and turn your pee into fertilizer
- Learn the answer to the age-old question: does eating asparagus really make your pee stink?
- Finally, take a look at the pee-powered batteries they are selling over in Japan. Really.
“#2”
- A good introductory guide to feces with an elegant focus on classification: the A-Z of shit
- Contribute to science and take a poop survey
- If you so desire, feel free to rate your (well, everyone else’s) poo
- Read about the bowel movement occurring in New York City
And now that you’re sufficiently nauseous, check out the new $5 bill
MJ vs. Kobe: No Match
As if this comparison needed any more analysis to show that Michael Jordan is a far superior basketball player than Kobe Bryant ever will be, a friend of mine directed me to a fantastic website pointing out just how lopsided the comparison truly is. Here are a few choice statistical tidbits:
If Kobe were to play another ten seasons of 80 games apiece (for 800 games total), he would have to average over 35.5 points per game for the rest of his career to match Jordan’s career scoring average. He hasn’t even had one season that high.
Kobe could make 1500 consecutive shots, and he still wouldn’t be above Jordan in shooting efficiency.
In order to match Jordan’s assists numbers by the time he’s played as long as Jordan did, Kobe needs to average 7.2 assists per game. Kobe has never even done this for a week.
Games with:
Jordan Bryant
15 20+ shots made while shooting over 60% 3
77 15+ shots made while shooting over 60% 18
174 15+ shots made while shooting over 50% 46
16 50+ points while shooting over 60% 5
1 50+ points while shooting under 50% 6
0 50+ points while shooting under 45% 3
70 40+ points while shooting over 60% 17
27 40+ points while shooting under 50% 42
13 40+ points while shooting under 45% 19
2 40+ points while shooting under 40% 7
3 50+ points on less than 10 free throw attempts 0
47 40+ points on less than 10 free throw attempts 17
156 40+ points on less than five 3 point attempts 28
15 50+ points with 5+ assists 4
96 40+ points with 5+ assists 31
9 40+ points with 10+ assists 2
Coolest Shit of the Week: The “I Should Be Studying for the MPRE’s” Edition
Considering I have already failed the MPRE’s once and am already well on pace for number two tomorrow, I figured that I may as well spend some time posting on my blog, since, if anything, it always helps me review the ABA Code of Professional Conduct.
So, here’s the Coolest Shit of the Week:
Lists of the Week
- The top 20 stupid faces made by patrick swayze in ghost: Definitely worth checking out. Even if you hate Whoopi Goldberg (which I may or may not).
- Your standard 50 gayest songs of all-time list.
- 10 things your dad never told you about sex: I was going to put this under “Learning of the Week,” but then I remembered that most of my readers
don’t have fathersare pimps.
Learning of the Week
- An economic analysis discussing how easy it would be to trade with aliens. We’re talkin E.T. here, not Paco.
Funny Shit of the Week
- Maybe one of the saddest, funniest Craigslist postings ever, succinctly titled: to the guy doing my wife.
Sickest Pictures of the Week
- Pictures of people holding the sun: much, much cooler than those pictures you always see of some guy holding up the Leaning Tower of Pisa (please don’t click on that link).
Ironic Picture of the Week
Websites I Wish I Thought of First of the Week
- FUH2.com: Sporting a truly remarkable gallery of pictures featuring people flipping off Hummers and much, much, more, this crazy acronym of a site (“Fuck You and Your H2”) certainly lives up to its name.
Nature Shit of the Week
- Nature is good: the world’s biggest mirror.
Hot Ass Kicks of the Week
- Finally, and courtesy of Kixandthecity, these Air Max 90’s are the hot ass kicks of the week. And they will soon be mine. And by “mine” I mean “on my blog.”
Now…….wish me luck on the MPRE’s.
P-Mate: Helping Women Stand Upright
How this product came to exist is completely beyond me, but, indeed, the P-Mate is a cardboard device that helps women urinate while standing.
Regardless of whether it is useful or becomes popular, one thing is for sure: it’s online advertisement is some of the most unintentional comedy I’ve seen in a long time; check it out:
Apparently there is a market for this kind of thing, so potential buyers should not be confused with the Shenis: a non- disposible model that, um, resembles something else.
BONUS SHENIS COVERAGE: Watch Heidi Klum try one on or a bunch of girls getting drunk and then using them to engage in a peeing contest.