Because my opinions are better than yours

Posts tagged valentine’s day

As an early Valentine’s Day present to you, my faithful eight readers, here is an important current event about a 12-year-old in California who recently found a candy heart that said “Nice Tits!”:

Nice Tits Heart

A 12-year-old girl says she found a naughty adult message on a piece of kids Valentine’s Day candy.

“I thought it was kinda shocking,” said Ciara Bush, “I was reading them and I brought it to my mom after I saw it.”

Her parents were stunned at what they saw.

“Nice Tits,” said Derrick Deanda, reading the message printed on the small piece of candy that referred to a woman’s chest.

Man, the last line of that article is just amazing.

[via Gawker & KCRA]

This post was intended to celebrate this incredible country and the incredible holiday created on today’s date: Steak and BJ Day. But, in the process of celebrating writing about today’s joyous holiday (created as a response to the unfairly female-dominated Valentine’s Day and celebrated exactly one month later: on March 14th), I became aware of the unfortunate news that the Steak and BJ website is down, diminishing much, if not all, of the credibility of my piece. In fact, I can no longer confidently even say that it exists. So, today, rather than speaking of this new, grand American tradition and its parallel to our country’s indelible spirit of brotherhood, I decided to dedicate today to something else: excrement.

And if you’re still wondering about Steak and BJ day, google it.



And now that you’re sufficiently nauseous, check out the new $5 bill

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