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Clearly the booze isn’t affecting any of America’s Top 20 Drunkest Athletes ability to land some tail, as evidenced by the looks of the females accompanying each athlete in their picture.

That, or these women are not “hot” but, rather, “opportunistic,” knowing which wealthy, vulnerable individual to advance upon when they see one (e.g. Adam Morrison, Kyle Orton).

Speaking of Adam Morrison, here are 5 Douchebag Behaviors Explained By Science.

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