Blogbdon » Funny

15 Things You Should Know About Breasts

Brandon — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 12:00:52 +0000

Now I believe the title to be a BIT misleading, as I don’t think you necessarily should know these 15 things…but they remain 15 interesting things about breasts certainly won’t hurt you to know, but, more importantly, will also give you an excuse to look at cartoon-drawn pictures of boobs at work and then just say that you’re learning:

Also, definitely click on this picture to zoom in…

[via Online Schools]

“Busting a Nut on Your Pillow…”

Brandon — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 12:00:23 +0000

That is the tagline for comedian Aziz Ansari’s (Parks and Recreation, the fruit stand guy in Flight of the Conchords) upcoming hip-hop mixtape, co-produced by TV on the Radio’s Dave Sitek and featuring his alter-ego “Raaaaaaaandy,” (FYI: yes, that does link to laughyourdickoff.com, but, no, it is not a porn site; it is Raaaaaaaaandy’s site) the stand-up comedian character played by Ansari in Judd Apatow’s Funny People. Here was his announcement of the mixtape on his blog in December:

Dave Sitek and I are working on a mixtape together. That’s all we’re saying for now, but if everything we have in mind comes together, I can promise three things: 1. Y’all ain’t ready. 2. Motherfuckers need to know. 3. Get yo’ shit.

Maybe it’s just me, but I think he’s funny as shit. And yes, I realize that this is the same humor that Lonely Island tackled with “I’m on a Boat,” but, guess what, I loved “I’m on a Boat” too.

Today, he released an update on the mixtape, announcing that they need to “push that shit back,” and this is where you can really see the potential of this collaboration (and, yes, that’s really him spinning):

[via Aziz is Bored & Pitchfork]

The “MacGyver Multitool” – Just Wow

Brandon — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 12:00:09 +0000

Wow.

[via Make Magazine]

“Sopranos” x “Where the Wild Things Are” Mash-Up is Amazing

Brandon — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 00:06:05 +0000

I don’t need to say anything, just enjoy:

[via The Awl]

Double “Green Man” Appearance at Flyers Game

Brandon — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 22:48:16 +0000

Presumably, this was during the Flyers’ excruciating loss to the Atlanta Thrashers last night, who managed to blow a two-goal lead going into the 3rd period for the first time in 24 games; luckily, two “Green Men” made watching video from the game worth it:

[via Bakes]

EXTRA:

You can see Mac talking about the actual origins of Greenman here (worth watching):

J.D. Salinger Was Mad Funny

Brandon — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 12:00:44 +0000

American author J.D. Salinger passed away yesterday at the age of 91. Most famous for his definitive coming-of-age novel “Catcher in the Rye,” Salinger was similarly known for his self-imposed life of “recluse.”

But success, once it arrived, paled quickly for him. He told the editors of Saturday Review that he was “good and sick” of seeing his photograph on the dust jacket of “The Catcher in the Rye” and demanded that it be removed from subsequent editions. He ordered his agent to burn any fan mail.

With all the time he had by himself, though, Salinger also became known for his letter-writing, much of which reflected his disgust for the outside world. So, you could imagine that when someone approached him about doing a movie adaptation of “Catcher and the Rye,” his response was not exactly friendly. The following is from the fantastic blog Letters of Note:

Ever since its release in 1951, a steady stream of eager producers, directors, screenwriters and actors have unsuccessfully attempted to bring J. D. Salinger’s Catcher in the Rye to the big screen, all falling at the first hurdle when confronted with Salinger’s resolute refusal to sell the rights to his novel. The letter below, written in 1957 in response to an enquiry from a Mr. Herbert (and currently for sale here), is a perfect example of the opposition faced and provides an entertaining glimpse at the author’s reasoning.

[via (the amazing) Letters of Note]

“The First Time I Smoked Pot”

Brandon — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 12:26:02 +0000

I suppose the applicable word here would be “cute:”

[via imgur]

Kids Reenact MTV’s “Jersey Shore”

Brandon — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 21:51:58 +0000

I don’t know if it’s humanly possible, but this video might even be better than the show itself:

Obviously, I’m kidding…nothing is better than the show itself. Well, maybe like “Citizen Kane” or something like that, but you’d have to put up pretty much a perfect argument on Kane’s behalf because this stuff is pure poetry.

If you agree, I’d also recommend FUCK YEAH, JERSEY SHORE and then proceed to say goodbye to a solid hour of your life.

[via dlisted]

Finally, because it never gets old, here’s Snickers getting punched in the face one more time:

BREAKING: Popeye Admits To Spinach Use

Brandon — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 13:00:39 +0000

Popeye: Drug-Taker

From The Awl:

The Associated Press
NEW YORK

Popeye finally came clean Monday, admitting he used spinach when he delivered a savage and unlikely beating to romantic rival Bluto in 1998. Popeye said in a statement sent to The Associated Press on Monday that he used spinach on and off for nearly a decade.

“I wish I had never touched spinach,” Popeye said in a statement. “It was foolish and it was a mistake. I truly apologize. Looking back, I wish I had never sailed during the spinach era.”

Popeye also used broccoli, a person close to Popeye said, speaking on condition of anonymity because Popeye didn’t include that detail in his statement.

Popeye’s decision to admit using spinach was prompted by his decision to become nautical consultant to the St. Louis Cardinals, his final cartoon team. Woodrow Woodpecker, Popeye’s manager in Oakland and St. Louis, has been among Popeye’s biggest supporters and thinks returning to the screen can restore the former mariner’s reputation.

“I never knew when, but I always knew this day would come,” Popeye said. “It’s time for me to talk about the past and to confirm what people have suspected. Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh.”

He became the second major cartoon star in less than a year to admit using spinach, following the New York Yankees’ Alex Roadrunner last February.

Others have been tainted but have denied knowingly using vegetables, including the Tasmanian Devil, Yosemite Sam, Mighty Mouse and David Ortiz.

Tasmanian Devil has been indicted on charges he made false statements to a federal grand jury and obstructed justice. Yosemite Sam is under investigation by a federal grand jury trying to determine whether he lied to a congressional committee.

“I’m sure people will wonder if I could have hit all those sailors had I never taken spinach,” Popeye said. “I had good years when I didn’t take any, and I had bad years when I didn’t take any. I had good years when I took spinach and I had bad years when I took spinach. But no matter what, I shouldn’t have done it and for that I’m truly sorry.”

“After all this time, I want to come clean,” he said. “I was not in a position to do that five years ago in my congressional testimony, but now I feel an obligation to discuss this and to answer questions about it. I’ll do that, and then I just want to help my team.”

“I am what I am,” added Popeye.

The Only Thing That Makes Me Feel Better After Yesterday…

Brandon — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 15:10:13 +0000

After yesterday, this is just about the only thing that’s making me feel better today. So, um, yeah, fuck the Niners!

Philadelphia Eagles V San Francisco 49ers Snowball Fight

[Thanks Simon]