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Because my opinions are better than yours

Archive for August, 2010

I’ve definitely never linked to my own blog on my own blog, but, considering the events of last night, and the possibilities as a result, I felt it necessary to remind fans of the show/Ms. Vergara’s cleavage:

Best show on TV:

So, now that Modern Family won the Emmy, will Sofia make good on her bet?  Here were her comments last night in response to a question from a reporter regarding the bet:

Sofia may not have actually done the run and returned to the event (the ad did note that another cast member could be substituted for the honor), but she is considering it.

“Would you step up to the plate?” Billy asked.

“Listen, I’m not afraid of anything. I’m Colombian,” Sofia said proudly.

Earlier in the night on the red carpet the actress told Billy that her small screen husband might step in for her.

“The good thing is that Ed O’Neill said that he will back me up in case something happens and I cannot do it. He’s gonna do it too,” she said.

[via Blogbdon]


Steve Carell was the lucky guest on the newest episode of “Between Two Ferns,” Zach Galifianakis’ online “mocku-talk-show,” which is broadcast on Funny or Die and is extremely funny.  Plus he actually sits on a stage between two ferns, which happens to be quite funny as well:

And here’s another one with Ben Stiller:


[via Funny or Die]

The title of the upcoming Rolling Stone article on HBO’s hit show True Blood is called “The Joy of Vampire Sex,” and unless you watch the show then it’s probably hard to understand just how awesome this is.  The show deserves all the recognition it gets, and the cover of Rolling Stone is about as good as it gets…particularly for a TV show!

Some have found the cover “distasteful” and “inappropriate”.  Um, watch one episode of the show and you’ll understand what those two words really mean.  Personally, I could do with a little less male nudity on the cover, but, like viewers of the show know well, this is no different than the show itself, which shows more male ass than a locker room of ____ [insert joke that I don’t feel like thinking of right now here].  So peep the cover, watch the show and f’ing enjoy:

[via RollingStone.com]

This is probably true, and who better an endorser than Charlie (despite the fact that, unfortunately, Sunny isn’t even really filmed in Philly…)?  Season 6 of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia starts on September 16th:

And, obviously, the post couldn’t be complete without:

[Via The700Level]


Featuring the greatest hero in modern history (pictured above in working garb) in what is easily the greatest news event of our time, the incident involves a flight attendant getting on the PA system and telling the passengers to “fuck off,” activating the inflatable emergency slide that no one actually thinks exists aside from in those cartoon pictures  located in the seatback in front of you, grabbing two beers from the bar, sliding down said slide and then escaping by running across the tarmac and into the terminal:

A jetBlue flight attendant upset because a passenger refused to apologize after accidentally striking him with luggage, allegedly spewed obscenities over the PA system, then activated and slid down a plane’s emergency chute before disappearing into a terminal at John F. Kennedy airport Monday, an airport official said.

JetBlue Flight 1052 from Pittsburgh had taxied to a stop at Terminal 5, Gate C around noon Monday when flight attendant Steven Slater, 38, was struck in the head with luggage that a passenger was trying to unload from an overhead compartment, according to an airport official with knowledge of the incident.

Slater demanded an apology from the passenger, the official said, but the passenger refused. The two argued before the passenger told Slater to  “f— off”, the official said. The official said that Slater then got on the plane’s PA system and directed that same obscenity at all the passengers and added that he especially meant it for the man who refused to apologize.

Slater is alleged to have then activated the plane’s inflatable emergency slide, grabbed two beers from the galley, then slid down the chute, the official said.

Our Hero Illustrated

UPDATE: Check out my hero’s MySpace Page (where many of these fantastic photos are from):

The Daily News’s charicature of the events are, as always, pitch perfect:

The plane had just landed, but he was ready to take off.

A JetBlue flight attendant blew his top, grabbed some beer and bolted out an emergency slide at Kennedy Airport Monday - then headed home to have sex with his boyfriend.

After he was bonked in the head by a bag, Steven Slater stunned passengers by spewing profanity and ranting about quitting as the flight from Pittsburgh pulled up to the gate about noon.

“To the f——-g a—hole who told me to f—k off, it’s been a good 28 years,” Slater, 38, purred, cops said. “I’ve had it. That’s it,” he added, a passenger said.

The mad-as-hell steward grabbed a couple of brewskis and popped one open before activating the emergency exit, witnesses told airport employees.

After tossing his two carry-on bags on the slide, he followed them to the tarmac.

Cops found him in bed with his boyfriend when they arrived to arrest him at a beachfront home in the Rockaways with a porch overlooking the Atlantic Ocean, sources said.

He boasted to skeptical cops that he really did escape by chute with his carry-on luggage. “Oh, yes, I did! I threw them down first and I went down after,” he told cops, sources said.

He was grinning as police walked him in handcuffs to a squad car. “He left with a big smile on his face,” said neighbor Curt Karkowski.

Cityroom’s take:

The contretemps unfolded as JetBlue Flight 1052 from Pittsburgh landed at Kennedy around noon — on time — with a full load of 100 passengers and pulled up to the gate, said the law enforcement official, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because the investigation was continuing but offered the following account:

One passenger stood up to fetch belongings from the overhead compartment before the crew had given permission. Mr. Slater instructed the person to remain seated. The passenger defied him. Mr. Slater approached and reached the passenger just as the person pulled down the luggage, which struck Mr. Slater in the head.

Mr. Slater asked for an apology. The passenger instead cursed at him. Mr. Slater got on the plane’s public address system and cursed out the passenger. Then he activated the inflatable evacuation slide at service exit R1; launched himself off the plane, an Embraer 190; ran to the employee parking lot; and left the airport in a car he had parked there.

Finally, Gawker has some ultimately sad news for our hero, who, it seems, might be paying a steep price for being the coolest person ever:

In his own little way, Steven Slater is a hero, too, for doing that which everyone who has traveled by airplane dreams. Unfortunately, his heroism may result in criminal mischief and trespassing charges. NBC New York reports he could be in jail for up to seven years.

[via WSJ & Gawker & DailyNews & Cityroom]

First off, I apologize for the title of this blog post, and feel free to punch me in the face the next time you see me just for using it.  Why didn’t I just change it?  Well, because it was the first thing I thought of, I’m lazy and no one reads this anyway, so I can do things like offer free punches in the face as compensation for my lameness without any fear of actually getting punched…ever.

Moving on, unless you were one of the four people who didn’t watch last night’s new episode of Jersey Shore, then you most probably saw the trailer MTV conveniently aired on the first commercial break (the first of about 50 commercials during the hour-long show, I should add) for Jackass 3D, the new installment of the Jackass series due out on October 15th.  I was as big a fan as anyone when the show was on MTV regularly, but I felt like the movies were able to take it to even another level; this newest installment, much of which was filmed in 3D,  looks like no exception.  Or maybe I just like the boobies and cursing that isn’t bleeped out in movies.  Anyway, just trust me and watch this trailer through to the end, and I promise you that you’ll laugh out loud at least once by the time it’s over:

[via The Playlist]

 

 

P.S. How can someone not laugh at the “high five” part at the end??!! I’ve watched it like 5 times now and still laugh each time I see it.

Featuring Nate Dogg, of course; this is awesome:

On a cool, clear night (typical to Southern California) Warren G travels through his neighborhood, searching for women with whom he might initiate sexual intercourse. He has chosen to engage in this pursuit alone.

Nate Dogg, having just arrived in Long Beach, seeks Warren. On his way to find Warren, Nate passes a car full of women who are excited to see him. Regardless, he insists to the women that there is no cause for excitement.

Warren makes a left turn at 21st Street and Lewis Ave, in the East Hill/Salt Lake neighborhood[6], where he sees a group of young men enjoying a game of dice together. He parks his car and greets them. He is excited to find people to play with, but to his chagrin, he discovers they intend to relieve him of his material possessions. Once the hopeful robbers reveal their firearms, Warren realizes he is in a less than favorable predicament.

Meanwhile, Nate passes the women, as they are low on his list of priorities. His primary concern is locating Warren. After curtly casting away the strumpets (whose interest in Nate was such that they crashed their automobile), he serendipitously stumbles upon his friend, Warren G, being held up by the young miscreants.

Warren, unaware that Nate is surreptitiously observing the scene unfold, is in disbelief that he’s being robbed. The perpetrators have taken jewelry and a name brand designer watch from Warren, who is so incredulous that he asks what else the robbers intend to steal. This is most likely a rhetorical question.

Observing these unfortunate proceedings, Nate realizes that he may have to use his firearm to deliver his friend from harm.

The tension crescendos as the robbers point their guns to Warren’s head. Warren senses the gravity of his situation. He cannot believe the events unfolding could happen in his own neighborhood. As he imagines himself in a fantastical escape, he catches a glimpse of his friend, Nate.

Nate has seventeen cartridges to expend (sixteen residing in the pistol’s magazine, with a solitary round placed in the chamber and ready to be fired) on the group of robbers, and he uses many of them. Afterward, he generously shares the credit for neutralizing the situation with Warren, though it is clear that Nate did all of the difficult work. Putting congratulations aside, Nate quickly reminds himself that he has committed multiple homicides to save Warren before letting his friend know that there are females nearby if he wishes to fornicate with them.

Warren recalls that it was the promise of copulation that coaxed him away from his previous activities, and is thankful that Nate knows a way to satisfy these urges.

Nate quickly finds the women who earlier crashed their car on Nate’s account. He remarks to one that he is fond of her physical appeal. The woman, impressed by Nate’s singing ability, asks that he and Warren allow her and her friends to share transportation. Soon, both friends are driving with automobiles full of women to the East Side Motel, presumably to consummate their flirtation in an orgy.

The third verse is more expository, with Warren and Nate explaining their G Funk musical style. Nate displays his bravado by claiming that individuals with equivalent knowledge could not even attempt to approach his level of lyrical mastery. There follows a brief discussion of the genre’s musicological features, with special care taken to point out that in said milieu the rhythm is not in fact the rhythm, as one might assume, but actually the bass. Similarly the bass serves a purpose closer to that which the treble would in more traditional musical forms. Nate goes on to note that if any third party smokes as he does, they would find themselves in a state of intoxication daily (from Nate’s other works, it can be inferred that the substance referenced is marijuana). Nate concludes his delineation of the night by issuing a vague threat to “busters,” suggesting that he and Warren will further “regulate” any potential incidents in the future (presumably by engaging their enemies with small arms fire).

[via Buzzfeed & Wikipedia]