Now Lionel starts going lotto-champagne crazy, squirting multimillionaire athletes up the nose, in the eyes and down the shorts. He pours an entire bottle over the head of slugger Ryan Howard. Matt Stairs gives him a head butt. He kisses pitcher Jamie Moyer on the cheek and yells, “Thank you for everything!” And Moyer yells, “No, thank you!”
Reading the article made me love this guy yet simultaneously despise him because of my pure, unadulterated jealousy for that experience. Asshole. Way to kiss Jamie Moyer.
This picture is just bad-ass, despite my poor attempt at a joke in the title of the post. And really the only description of the photo that can do it justice is this caption that was originally included with the image:
In this handout photo provided by the White House, a folder for U.S. President Barack Obama (the 44th president) is shown, left for him by Former U.S. President George W. Bush on the Resolute desk in the Oval Office of the White House January 20, 2009 in Washington, D.C.
* Obviously, Kobe had nothing to do with this, and by no means am I endorsing him as some sort of funny-guy with any modicum of a personality. He just has some brilliant cast of Nike writers behind him that make him look somewhat funny if you try hard to laugh, whereas if MJ was in the same position he would have written the commercial HIMSELF and it would have blown this one out of the water…
Well, actually, it still is for a little while…but at least things are getting closer:
Sling Media to Demonstrate SlingPlayer Mobile for iPhone at Macworld
San Francisco - Macworld - January 6, 2009 - Sling Media, Inc., a wholly owned subsidiary of EchoStar Corporation NASDAQ: SATS, is demonstrating a version of SlingPlayer Mobile for iPhone being developed for the iTunes store at this years Macworld. Sling Media will deliver a version of SlingPlayer Mobile for iPhone to Apple for certification in Q1.
This shit is funny as hell, I think. The geniuses behind the site komplexify have derived a complex mathematical equation which clearly prove the evil underpinnings of the female gender. Equisitely titled “On the proof of the supposed evilness of girls,” try to do your best to follow along, but don’t be ashamed if you get lost: this is some complex stuff here. Read on to witness the proof that has, in all likelihood, turned the world of gender-studies on its head for the rest of eternity:
II. Statement and classical proof of result
Theorem. Girls are evil
Proof. It is axiomic in all cultures that girls require both time and money, and any man with either a deficiency in available “quality time” or “disposable income” knows that this a joint-proportion, whence:
girls = time * money
Similarly, it is has been proved that “time is money” , whence
time = money
girls = (money)2
We also know that “money is the root of all evil” , whence
money = √evil
Substituting again yields
girls = (√evil)2
Squaring on the right-hand side of the equation yields…