Yea, a great post title, I know. Given the week-long hiatus for Blogbdon, I figured I would come back with a bang for my first post back. But then I decided to post about “magic vaginas,” so maybe I’ll come back with a bang tomorrow or something. Anyway, on to the magic vagines.
So, it seems that during his time in office former-governor Eliot Spitzer went a little ho-crazy (a relatively P.C. way of putting it, considering he has been called everything from a “whoremonger” and a “whorelover” to “the disgraced horndog” at times in the wild coverage of the story) and once the government found out he had to resign, blah blah blah.
Now I guess that’s news and all, but what has dumbfounded ME over the course of this whole fiasco is the same sort of thing that blows my mind when someone like Michael Vick chooses to run an illegal dog-fighting ring over resisting that temptation and guaranteeing that his $100 million stays safe in his pocket./p>
In other words: the big question to me is why did Eliot do it? Well, my friends, I never thought that I would find the answer, but, with the wind of google at my back, alas, I finally did:
Ashley Dupre had a magic vagina!
….and, not only magic but, apparently, the most beautiful vagina in New York:
Says Jason “King of all Pimps” Itzler: “Big hedge-fund guys, the heaviest hitters, called and I’d say this is the girl with the magic pussy, the best in New York.”
Another of Jason’s ladies confirms, “As soon as I saw her coochie, I told Jason, ‘this is special.’”
UPDATED: Over the weekend there was an enormous discovery in my investigation: a cutaway map of the magical vagina has been unearthed!
Read more (if you want):
- NYC’s most famous pimp (the aforementioned Itzler) talks about Spitzer and Ashley…..and her vagina (he explained even more in an interview three years ago)
- Become Ashley’s friend on Myspace or poke her on Facebook!!
- And if you haven’t heard about how she lost her $1 million Girls Gone Wild offer in the past week, it’s pretty funny
- UPDATED: Ms. Dupre will no longer lose sleep over said Girls Gone Wild fiasco, as she’s been offered the same $1 million from Larry Flynt’s Hustler
- UPDATED: Interestingly, it was suspicion over money transfers which triggered a federal investigation, not suspicions over visits to the Emporer’s Club
- UPDATED: Decide for yourself whether it was worth it
- UPDATED: A beautiful excerpt from her Myspace page:
“I am all about my music, and my music is all about me… It flows from what I’ve been through, what I’ve seen and how I feel. I live in New York and am on top of the world. Been here since 2004 and I love this city, I love my life here. But, my path has not been easy. When I was 17, I left home. It was my decision and I’ve never looked back. Left my hometown. Left a broken family. Left abuse. Left an older brother who had already split. Left and learned what it was like to have everything, and lose it, again and again. Learned what it was like to wake up one day and have the people you care about most gone. I have been alone. I have abused drugs. I have been broke and homeless. But, I survived, on my own.”
And, apparently, there is some competition to Ashley’s claim to vaginal fame:
- Kate Beckinsale on her, um, best lady part
- While we’re at it: Kirsten Dunst’s magic vagina
- UPDATED: And, now, apparently Paris’s vagina is magic as well