An on-board view of a space shuttle sequence:
And if science isn’t your “thing,” maybe this is “awesome” to you: the top 50 hottest college student bodies (and for lazy one’s: skip to numbers 1-10). Pigs.
Archive for March, 2008
Photographic Analysis Shows Adolf Hitler & Charlie Chaplin Separated at Birth!
I can’t believe I never saw the resemblance myself; in retrospect, the mustache should have been a dead giveaway.
In other mustache-related business: join the moustache me cause and make a difference!
“advert + mustache = awesome”
Apple Shooter
Either I’m really bored or this game is insanely awesome. It kept me entertained for almost a full 10-minutes straight, which is quite a bit to say considering my clinical disease.
Magic Vaginas
Yea, a great post title, I know. Given the week-long hiatus for Blogbdon, I figured I would come back with a bang for my first post back. But then I decided to post about “magic vaginas,” so maybe I’ll come back with a bang tomorrow or something. Anyway, on to the magic vagines.
So, it seems that during his time in office former-governor Eliot Spitzer went a little ho-crazy (a relatively P.C. way of putting it, considering he has been called everything from a “whoremonger” and a “whorelover” to “the disgraced horndog” at times in the wild coverage of the story) and once the government found out he had to resign, blah blah blah.
Now I guess that’s news and all, but what has dumbfounded ME over the course of this whole fiasco is the same sort of thing that blows my mind when someone like Michael Vick chooses to run an illegal dog-fighting ring over resisting that temptation and guaranteeing that his $100 million stays safe in his pocket.
In other words: the big question to me is why did Eliot do it? Well, my friends, I never thought that I would find the answer, but, with the wind of google at my back, alas, I finally did:
Ashley Dupre had a magic vagina!
….and, not only magic but, apparently, the most beautiful vagina in New York:
Says Jason “King of all Pimps” Itzler: “Big hedge-fund guys, the heaviest hitters, called and I’d say this is the girl with the magic pussy, the best in New York.”
Another of Jason’s ladies confirms, “As soon as I saw her coochie, I told Jason, ‘this is special.’”
UPDATED: Over the weekend there was an enormous discovery in my investigation: a cutaway map of the magical vagina has been unearthed!
Read more (if you want):
- NYC’s most famous pimp (the aforementioned Itzler) talks about Spitzer and Ashley…..and her vagina (he explained even more in an interview three years ago)
- Become Ashley’s friend on Myspace or poke her on Facebook!!
- And if you haven’t heard about how she lost her $1 million Girls Gone Wild offer in the past week, it’s pretty funny
- UPDATED: Ms. Dupre will no longer lose sleep over said Girls Gone Wild fiasco, as she’s been offered the same $1 million from Larry Flynt’s Hustler
- UPDATED: Interestingly, it was suspicion over money transfers which triggered a federal investigation, not suspicions over visits to the Emporer’s Club
- UPDATED: Decide for yourself whether it was worth it
- UPDATED: A beautiful excerpt from her Myspace page:
“I am all about my music, and my music is all about me… It flows from what I’ve been through, what I’ve seen and how I feel. I live in New York and am on top of the world. Been here since 2004 and I love this city, I love my life here. But, my path has not been easy. When I was 17, I left home. It was my decision and I’ve never looked back. Left my hometown. Left a broken family. Left abuse. Left an older brother who had already split. Left and learned what it was like to have everything, and lose it, again and again. Learned what it was like to wake up one day and have the people you care about most gone. I have been alone. I have abused drugs. I have been broke and homeless. But, I survived, on my own.”
And, apparently, there is some competition to Ashley’s claim to vaginal fame:
- Kate Beckinsale on her, um, best lady part
- While we’re at it: Kirsten Dunst’s magic vagina
- UPDATED: And, now, apparently Paris’s vagina is magic as well
Pee and Poo
This post was intended to celebrate this incredible country and the incredible holiday created on today’s date: Steak and BJ Day. But, in the process of celebrating writing about today’s joyous holiday (created as a response to the unfairly female-dominated Valentine’s Day and celebrated exactly one month later: on March 14th), I became aware of the unfortunate news that the Steak and BJ website is down, diminishing much, if not all, of the credibility of my piece. In fact, I can no longer confidently even say that it exists. So, today, rather than speaking of this new, grand American tradition and its parallel to our country’s indelible spirit of brotherhood, I decided to dedicate today to something else: excrement.
And if you’re still wondering about Steak and BJ day, google it.
“#1”
- Learn how to turn your pee blue
- Contribute to the environment and turn your pee into fertilizer
- Learn the answer to the age-old question: does eating asparagus really make your pee stink?
- Finally, take a look at the pee-powered batteries they are selling over in Japan. Really.
“#2”
- A good introductory guide to feces with an elegant focus on classification: the A-Z of shit
- Contribute to science and take a poop survey
- If you so desire, feel free to rate your (well, everyone else’s) poo
- Read about the bowel movement occurring in New York City
And now that you’re sufficiently nauseous, check out the new $5 bill
Is This Kid the Biggest Pussy Ever?
Courtesy of barstool sports.
“It’s Not a Schooner, It’s a Sailboat”
You dumb bastard……….
Well, this one has nothing to do with watercrafts, but I guess you could consider it like the best magic eye thing ever (it’s been a slow blog day, ok?):
POSTSCRIPT: If you’re one of those handicapped people who struggle with optical illusions, here’s some practice ones to warm up with.
MJ vs. Kobe: No Match
As if this comparison needed any more analysis to show that Michael Jordan is a far superior basketball player than Kobe Bryant ever will be, a friend of mine directed me to a fantastic website pointing out just how lopsided the comparison truly is. Here are a few choice statistical tidbits:
If Kobe were to play another ten seasons of 80 games apiece (for 800 games total), he would have to average over 35.5 points per game for the rest of his career to match Jordan’s career scoring average. He hasn’t even had one season that high.
Kobe could make 1500 consecutive shots, and he still wouldn’t be above Jordan in shooting efficiency.
In order to match Jordan’s assists numbers by the time he’s played as long as Jordan did, Kobe needs to average 7.2 assists per game. Kobe has never even done this for a week.
Games with:
Jordan Bryant
15 20+ shots made while shooting over 60% 3
77 15+ shots made while shooting over 60% 18
174 15+ shots made while shooting over 50% 46
16 50+ points while shooting over 60% 5
1 50+ points while shooting under 50% 6
0 50+ points while shooting under 45% 3
70 40+ points while shooting over 60% 17
27 40+ points while shooting under 50% 42
13 40+ points while shooting under 45% 19
2 40+ points while shooting under 40% 7
3 50+ points on less than 10 free throw attempts 0
47 40+ points on less than 10 free throw attempts 17
156 40+ points on less than five 3 point attempts 28
15 50+ points with 5+ assists 4
96 40+ points with 5+ assists 31
9 40+ points with 10+ assists 2
Seriously This Is Not Fake
I don’t know who invented this or how, but they should be given the Pulitzer Prize and the Peace Prize and all the other prizes ever until I get a pair of these. I swear to god I used to dream about owning something like this:
Oh yea, and they’re called Powerisers in case any of you want to buy them for my 25th birthday. Which is in just over a month. Frankie. Murph.
Our Generation’s Citizen Kane: Super High Me
This is easily the greatest idea for a movie ever: take the idea behind “Super-Size Me” (man eats McDonald’s for 30 days and sees whether he gets fat) and switch “McDonald’s food” with “marijuana.” Comedian Doug Benson (surprisingly named High Times Magazine’s 2006 “Stoner of the Year”) has put this idea to fruition AND called it “Super High Me” to boot. Watch this trailer and tell me that this movie won’t blow “There Will Be Blood” out of the water. Apparently, this will be released on DVD on June 10th, so mark your calendars.
And, since I suck ass at writing, here is Wikipedia’s blurb on the movie:
Super High Me documents Doug Benson avoiding marijuana for 30 days and then smoking marijuana every day for 30 days in a row. Benson claims that Super High Me is “‘Super Size Me’ with weed instead of McDonalds”. To make sure alcohol wouldn’t affect the results, he didn’t drink for the two months he filmed the documentary. Benson actually gained 8 pounds during the “high” month. Everything Doug Benson did in the film is legal in California. The film also includes interviews with marijuana activists, dispensary owners, politicians and patients who comprise the medical marijuana movement. Benson claims that he tells kids “you should not smoke pot until you become a professional comedian”.